Radical Acceptance

I truly believe in the body, mind, and spirit philosophy. In order for true wellness, we cannot just have a healthy body because the body human is a vessel for the our spirit as well. My newest interests have been based around that. I think it's important to learn about yourself in order to get the big picture of who you truly are. It's why I've been delving into astrology, numerology, and enneagram study. I am beginning to get the full picture of who I am. Amongst other things, I am a perfectionist. Someone who likes to write lists and lead the charge on things that others aren't quite ready for yet. It's hard for someone like me when things decide to change on a dime. Hence, the last 2 years have really done a number to not only my physical body but my faith in mankind in general. The lesson for me is radical acceptance. I will be honest, I am not sure I am there yet.

Stress has always affected my body, specifically my stomach and muscles. For the last year, my stomach as been on a roller coaster ride of it's own. I live a plant based life and have been thriving at it for the last 4 years. It has helped me with my adrenal and anxiety issues. Although, within the last 6 months my stomach is like a toddler. Once you get them on a routine, they decide to switch it up and do something different. I can eat one thing, one day, and feel fine. The next day, the same food, will give me problems. It's extremely frustrating, especially for someone who likes things to be a certain way. My muscles, same thing: I can walk 2 miles with no issues and my ribcage could be sore that night from cleaning the counters. You might say," well you're 45, that's par for the course". I would have to respectively disagree....it's anxiety. This is how my body reacts to stress and prolonged anxiety.

Being a Number 1, on the enneagram, means I like a plan. Something to stick to and to keep myself accountable to. I like to fix problems. So, I had to put my detective hat on and plan a new routine. I make this sound very proactive but it only came after an hour long cry and vent session about how it's hard being so sensitive and always having to figure myself out. That's a rough realization for a perfectionist. I realized that I am not living by my Dosha type. I realize this, yearly, around the same time. I am a Vata constitution, according to Ayurvedic medicine. It means I should be eating warming foods in the winter. For some reason I start a plan of salads and smoothies that seems healthy but ultimately fails me. Here we are again...vata imbalance. So we get back on the bike, devise a new plan, and march forward. It doesn't mean it's any less frustrating, but it's who I am. That's the beauty of looking at all aspects of yourself: your body, mind, and soul. Every one of us was born at a very specific time, was given a very specific name, and is a specific personalty type. To know information only makes you wiser. Understanding who you are makes it easier to ACCEPT who you are. It sometimes even, helps us to understand others better too. It's that radical acceptance I was speaking of above. I'm still working on it. :)